Imagine you’re about to take a raft trip down a river. Along with calm waters, your map shows unavoidable rapids and turns. How do you ensure a safe journey through rough waters and unexpected challenges? You might enlist experienced rafters, pack an extra life jacket, or use a stronger raft. With the right tools and support, you will not only navigate the river but emerge a more confident and courageous rafter.
Life doesn’t come with a map, but everyone faces twists and turns, from everyday challenges to traumatic events like the death of a loved one, a serious illness, or a life-altering accident. Each experience affects us uniquely, bringing strong emotions and uncertainty. However, people generally adapt well over time, thanks to resilience.
What is Resilience?
Psychologists define resilience as the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant stress. Resilience involves “bouncing back” from difficult experiences and can also lead to profound personal growth. Like rough river waters, adverse events are painful and challenging, but they don’t have to determine the outcome of your life. There are many aspects you can control, modify, and grow with, and that’s the role of resilience. Becoming more resilient helps you overcome difficulties and empowers you to improve your life along the way.
What Resilience Isn’t
Being resilient doesn’t mean avoiding difficulty or distress. Those who have suffered major adversity or trauma often experience significant emotional pain and stress. The road to resilience involves considerable emotional distress. While some factors might make individuals more resilient than others, resilience isn’t a personality trait that only some possess. Resilience involves behaviors, thoughts, and actions that anyone can learn and develop. Research shows that resilience is ordinary, not extraordinary. For example, many Americans responded to the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks by rebuilding their lives after the tragedy.
Strategies to Build Resilience
Building resilience takes time and intentionality. Focusing on connection, wellness, healthy thinking, and meaning can help you withstand and learn from difficult experiences. Here are some strategies to increase your resilience.
Build Your Connections
Prioritize Relationships: Connecting with empathetic and understanding people reminds you that you’re not alone in difficulties. Find trustworthy and compassionate individuals who validate your feelings.
Join a Group: Being active in civic groups, faith-based communities, or local organizations can provide social support and help you reclaim hope. Research groups in your area that offer support and a sense of purpose.
Foster Wellness
Take Care of Your Body: Self-care is essential for mental health and building resilience. Stress is physical as well as emotional. Promote positive lifestyle factors like proper nutrition, ample sleep, hydration, and regular exercise to strengthen your body to adapt to stress and reduce the toll of emotions like anxiety or depression.
Practice Mindfulness: Mindful journaling, yoga, and spiritual practices like prayer or meditation can help build connections and restore hope, preparing you to deal with situations that require resilience.
Avoid Negative Outlets: It may be tempting to mask pain with alcohol, drugs, or other substances, but this is like putting a bandage on a deep wound. Focus on giving your body resources to manage stress rather than eliminating the feeling altogether.
Find Purpose
Help Others: Volunteering or supporting a friend in need fosters a sense of purpose, self-worth, connection, and empowerment, which can help you grow in resilience.
Be Proactive: Acknowledge and accept your emotions during hard times, and ask yourself, “What can I do about this problem?” Break down overwhelming issues into manageable pieces and take initiative.
Move Toward Your Goals: Develop realistic goals and do something regularly to move toward what you want to accomplish. Focus on small, achievable tasks to maintain progress.
Look for Opportunities for Self-Discovery: Struggles often lead to growth. After hardship, people often report better relationships and a greater sense of strength and appreciation for life.
Embrace Healthy Thoughts
Keep Things in Perspective: How you think affects how you feel and your resilience. Identify irrational thinking, such as catastrophizing difficulties, and adopt a balanced thinking pattern.
Accept Change: Recognize that change is part of life. Accept circumstances that cannot be changed and focus on what you can alter.
Maintain a Hopeful Outlook: An optimistic outlook empowers you to expect good things. Visualize what you want instead of worrying about what you fear.
Learn from Your Past: Reflect on what was helpful in past times of distress. Remind yourself of your strengths and what you’ve learned from those experiences.
Seeking Help
Getting help when needed is crucial for building resilience. For many, personal resources and strategies are enough, but sometimes professional assistance is necessary. A licensed mental health professional can help develop strategies for moving forward. If you feel unable to function or perform daily activities due to stress or trauma, seek professional help. Finding a therapist or support group that you feel comfortable with is important for getting the most out of your therapeutic relationship.
Building resilience is a continuous journey. By focusing on connection, wellness, healthy thinking, and meaning, you can strengthen your ability to navigate life’s challenges and grow from them. Start integrating these strategies into your life to become more resilient and empowered.